Wrapped up in passivity
just trying to be pleasant but the places he goes
all warp into horror scenes and illegal morbid dreams
actively trying to calm himself down from the stress of his demanding world view that's a destructive restlessness he cannot undo
and everything is in extremes
so it's easier for his brains system of bookkeeping
and if it's not filed away somewhere
he'll get away with white lie bullshitting
scared of traffic, and strangers, and cold hospital air,
or anything that's putting himself out there
and Randy you're becoming just who you never wanted to be
where it seems kindness becomes less important
than your personal priorities
and you've always had the image of the optimist you'd someday be
but a constant happiness just feels inaccurate
and so the artists name is said sarcastically
Creating a body of work as if somehow that could earn him worth and
jumping from self love to loathing to praising then scolding
every move he makes
standing beside himself as some mythical version
to hide how boring he is as a person
cause he shares his idea of a wild night out
with that of the puritans
And Randy you're becoming just who you never wanted to be
you do not handle well humility
and you're taking yourself too seriously
and these criticisms that come from all the
comparisons you make
create a senseless envy
the kind that is offered by the garden snake
and I know he too would eat what is forbidden in their place
and its the creative process he praises
to raise him from the dead feelings he sometimes has
but the process is both the revival as far as he knows
and what is making himself decompose
and it's this obsessive curse that creates his
best days alongside his worst
Randy you're becoming just who you never wanted to be
someone who always says no
and then hermits away
to the guarantees of safety
just to torture himself once he's all alone
over all of the things he does not't know
like an ankle bracelet that buzzes when he leaves his comfort zone And its this barrier he sets that holds him back
from any meaningful experience
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