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May 3rd, 1964
you were born and soon after moved to Illinois
but your parents got divorced and dad was never around
and mom had mentally checked out
but I never got to meet them they died before I was born
both of a stroke and I only know what I have been shown
in grainy pictures where I can make out their face
but I never got to meet them the dead are slowly being erased

but in their faces I see features I'd eventually get
how strange it is in subtle ways genes reviving the dead
once they were young and in perfect health as I am now
but like myself soon close to being forgotten about

And I feel bad for my time I've not been spending it with you
its just that we've developed such different interests and views
but we attempt a great relationship of our own
but I ruin the balance and indulge in being alone
but I see on the horizon a day where I wish I would've walked
down the stairs and poured out everything
but I'm too scared of facing where we might really be
or to find all we can relate to is archaic memories
but you're my greatest teacher and intentions are always good
just trapped in a situation that you think
compromises some manhood
but these outlashes are slowly becoming outliers
and I see you now as someone trying to put out their own house fire

'cause there is such a lighter side you selectively show
that's being covered by all these ways that you have no control
but anytime I see you with a smile or laughing to a joke
I want to clutch you and apologize for my years of quiet scorn
but I can name at least one more thing that will always be our crutch and that nothing in our life ever seems to be enough
no nothing in my life ever seems to be enough

and its really just a lack in ourselves we're turning back around
it's really just insecurities manifesting as a mirror
it's really just our entitlement weighing us down
it's really just the discontent of our ego's fear
so rip your mind out of the next few years
and just place it in the moment before it dissapears


from Archaic Memories And Past Lives, released May 3, 2016



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Randall Kirk Jones Denton, Texas

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